Turning boys into men in Slacks Creek

Where Manasa Faatoe grew up in the Pacific Islands, unpleasant emotions were only acknowledged in private.

‘You were expected to go into a room to cry, toughen up and come back out to do the dishes,’ he says.

He, like many others, was socialised to suffer in silence.

‘I had a lot of issues because I struggled with the pressure of being a man,’ Manasa says.

‘A lot of men are so busy providing food on the table that they don’t have the energy to understand their own emotions, which ends up affecting people around them.’

Manasa witnessed the same cycle when he moved to Yarrabilba.

‘Back then, we didn’t have any mentors to help us out and we knew how crazy things could get,’ he says.

‘People don’t know how to cope with things like domestic violence, depression, anxiety, broken homes – the word “broken” always popped up in conversation.

‘We knew we couldn’t just sit there and let it happen, so we decided to get together to help the community.’

A driving instructor and life coach by day, Manasa spends his nights preparing monthly workshops for his volunteer-run organisation, His Space.

These workshops educate men on topics like jealousy and create a safe space for discussion. Here, men are encouraged to be honest and vulnerable about their experiences.

Manasa says common struggles include depression and low self-esteem, often stemming from the inability to meet societal expectations of men. And these challenges are exacerbated by how isolated some men feel.

‘When men feel like failures, they tend to shut down from others and do anything to numb the pain,’ he says.

‘Back then, I turned to drugs and violence because I didn’t know how to be transparent with others.

‘But I knew I couldn’t repeat this cycle with my son and realised I needed help. When I could finally see that, I started to change.’

More than anything else, Manasa hopes to inspire change in Logan.

‘Although other groups have asked me to speak in their area, I reminded myself that I need to look in my own backyard first,’ he says.

‘I’m targeting from age 7 because if we can mold the younger generation, it’ll save them from what we went through and prepare them for the real world. I also focus on parents, because no matter what we do for the community, people will go back to their old ways if they live in a toxic home.

‘If I can just help one person change, that will impact someone else – love awakens love.’

Check out the official Facebook page to learn more about His Space.

By June Ho