RUBY a judgement-free zone for women to empower themselves
Every week at Logan PCYC, Aamina Buksh and Mary Bottrell meet up with a group of women for an hour of exercise and up to 3 hours of chat, support and laughs afterwards.
This is the Rise Up, Be Yourself program – RUBY for short – and it’s been running in many PCYC branches for around 10 years., Women who are experiencing, or have experienced, abusive relationships and challenging circumstances, come together for a session of endorphin-boosting exercise – overseen at Logan by personal trainer Mary. This is followed by some discussion support and time to connect with the group, led by coordinator Aamina.
Mary, who has been involved with RUBY in one way or another since it began, says the program has evolved over the years but remains the same at its core. She says the inclusion of physical exercise was a crucial part of its success.
‘Our approach is to make the ladies always feel welcome and safe, keep it fun and, as a personal trainer, making sure the women get what they need at the time. That could be high intensity exercise to release endorphins, a strength session, or something gentler,’ she says.
‘I have a set program but will ask the group for feedback and ideas the week before and will change or adapt depending on how the group is feeling and what the energy is.
‘It makes people feel good about themselves, improves mood, confidence and self-esteem, and (helps them) gain strength.’
After exercising, Aamina runs a group session where the women can open up emotionally.
‘It is social, therapeutic, and we go by what is needed.’
If someone needs help to cope with stress, Aamina we can help with referrals to organisations they need.
‘And we have a senior Sargeant in the group who can give them advice on some of the legal issues they might be dealing with,’ she says.
‘Like most people, they may not know the ins and outs of how an affidavit works or a DVO.
‘It is mostly about that connection between the group really – there is such great support there from ladies at different stages of their journey, and they offer each other so much.
‘Some of them are estranged from their families or their families are overseas, so the ladies in the group are the people they talk to the most – and some really firm friendships form.’
She says the group sometimes goes for an hour, and sometimes it can go for much longer, depending on the needs of the day.
Mary and Aamina say the 2 most important things are: no cliques, and no judgement. Each woman is at a different phase of her journey.
‘We don’t want to control the women or tell them what we think they should be doing; we want to listen to them and help them feel supported and empowered to make choices in their lives,’ Aamina says.
‘We do worry when some of the situations are intense, but we can always reach out to them – it’s not like they only speak to us during the group. Everyone reaches out outside of that too.’
Conversations can range from parenting,positive relationships and what they look like, and self-care, to less structured and more informal chats.
‘Often everyone is laughing, and it is a fun space – the women just love to have fun together,’ Amina says.
The program also offers free childcare while the group runs.
Both Aamina and Mary say RUBY is a highlight of their week.
‘I look forward to it, I love seeing these ladies because the group is so positive. It’s the best part of my job, helping people, and if I can walk away knowing I have made a difference I feel accomplished,’ says Mary.
‘The women are empowering; it takes a strong person to walk through what they are walking through each day. Often, they come in feeling upset and walk away with a smile and then you know you have done your job.
‘Friendships are built in here.’
RUBY membership can be via referral, but walk-ins are welcome too. Find out more about RUBY.
